She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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