you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
