I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
