I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Watching her eat just hurts me
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
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