I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
