She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
