I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
