I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
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I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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