just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
