Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
