I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize