How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Umm I'm too high to move.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
