Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
