You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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