Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
