I look better un-naked...
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
