we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize