I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
