We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
