1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
