I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
