i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
