Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize
