I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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