May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
