you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
