She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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