I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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