hell yes lets make some ravioli
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
