sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
