yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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