You're completely useless in the revolution.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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