so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
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seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
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I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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