how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
then he tried to convert me to islam
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Randomize
