I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Randomize
