youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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