and you said cock pushups were impossible
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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