i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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