just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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