i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
