Have you finally orgasmed yet?
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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