I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
