you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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