id be glad to
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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