my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
