I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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