You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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