Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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