I'll bet she douches with gravy.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I touched a dick in church today
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
