On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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