she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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