I just threw up on my dentist
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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