why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
