Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
How many fucks given?
0.12846
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
