ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
