she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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