Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
