They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
