I'm eating all of the evidence.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
