I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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