who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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