So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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